10/3/2008 10:25:00 AM COVER: Where Are You? Innovative program explores spiritual journey
Aryeh Ben David, the founder of Ayeka
Observing the Program
Similar to any support group that follows the "Twelve Steps," discussions are designed for spiritual reveal, confidentiality and comfort.
The power of observation is a useful tool for a reporter. The ability to observe and report without compromising anyone's comfort during a session is useful to a person seeking something meaningful in their spiritual journey.
B'Nai Torah's seats on Sept. 10 were scattered with curious onlookers who arrived for a spiritual check-up called Ayeka. Most people were unsure of the program and what it would consist of. The founder of Ayeka was there to explain the program to the synagogue members, but not by way of a PowerPoint presentation or a slideshow.
After a few salutations, Aryeh Ben David got to the program. Session 1 was Yom Kippur and Forgiveness.
Midrash Tanchuma 31 was read in a group setting and after that was a Talmud excerpt Yoma 87a. Those two liturgical excerpts were enough to get people thinking about their own lives. Then the real discussion began - with guiding questions listed. With specific excerpts, the questions pointed directly to issues from those excerpts.
Then, the spiritual chevruta began. People broke up into small groups of no more than three, and went through a list of four questions. These consisted of things like, "How would I characterize myself vis-à-vis the quality of forgiveness? Am I satisfied with this characterization," "What, if I could, would I like to change in myself regarding my power of forgiveness: Is there anything that I need to forgive myself for?" and "In light of the sources studied today, is there anything that I need to do to prepare for Yom HaKippurim?"
Not only were people completely engrossed in their respective conversations, but also the session allowed people to reflect and think. There were sniffles of emotion, red blurry eyes, and a sense of a weight and burden lifted off the souls of the people in the room.
Without hurrying the group, Ben David called everyone back to the central gathering area. When he asked, "How was it?", many replied, "Emotional."
Married couples said it was a great chance to connect spiritually with their spouse while individuals had the chance in a safe space to listen and learn from others.
Marcy J. Levinson Staff Writer
Jewish Atlantans have seen a huge launch during the last two years in programming across all denominations of Judaism. This surge could be due in part to Federation's 2006 survey that revealed a Jewish community of about 120,000 (up from 77,000 in 1996); or because religious educators, lay leaders and area Jews want more than traditional synagogue programming to fulfill their lives.
A program that has been around in Israel for a few years is being launched in Atlanta as one of a handful of "test" cities in the United States, including Cleveland, Stamford, Conn., and San Francisco.
Ayeka was rolled out to several metro-Atlanta Jewish organizations and synagogues in mid-September to rave reviews. At mid-size B'Nai Torah (Conservative) in Sandy Springs, some 40 people showed up on a Wednesday night to learn about the spiritual check-up program that was advertised in the synagogue bulletin. By the time the program launch was under way with a mini spiritual check-up with founder Aryeh Ben David, attendees were fixated. When the event concluded, people flocked to sign up for future discussions.
The program was founded in 2006 by Ben David after 20 years of teaching at the Pardes Institute in Jerusalem. The name means "where are you?" This name was given, according to Ben David, in an effort to get people thinking about where they are personally in their own spiritual journey - where they are in their relationship with God.
"Judaism is about more than information," Ben David said, "but where is God?" These questions and personal observations allowed Ben David to set up his spiritual checklist as a foundation for the program.
This method of studying and connecting is a model Ben David designed not only from his years of teaching experience, but also from his own struggles and questions. He said, "I didn't have a paradigm or a role model. This is a completely different form of education."
Ben David's arrival in Atlanta wasn't by chance, but a well-planned tour finely tuned by local Ayeka enthusiasts, including Michael and Ann Karlin, Seth and Marci Cohen, Michael and Lisa Siegel, and Jacob Schreiber.
Some of the guys were part of a men's retreat with Ben David at a lake house this year. A few of them said during an interview, they "were completely consumed in conversation, and never turned on the TV." Even with a bottle or two of booze, some games to play and other team-building distractions for break-time, Karlin said they never strayed from in-depth conversation and group discovery.
Karlin said he found Ben David in Israel's Negev Desert during a July 2007 Wexner trip. This trip, and learning with Ben David, is where Karlin said he found his connection.
"I found it in the Negev ... this scruffy rabbi with red hair," Karlin said. "This was how to bring God back into the equation of Judaism."
Now Karlin, Cohen and Schreiber are among the driving forces to bring others on board to institute Ayeka into their synagogues, organizations or independent groups.
The unique model of Ayeka includes: participants in groups of 8-10 people; trained facilitators who will act as moderators and rule keepers for sessions; and, eventually, people who want to give financially to grow the program. The unique part, according to Ben David, is that Ayeka is not a Reform, Conservative, Orthodox or any other denomination-specific program.
Karlin said, "This is to create small groups to help people connect more deeply to Judaism."
During a session (to be determined by each group as they begin to form) there are participants and a group facilitator. There is no rabbi, no teacher and no expert to guide the conversation. It is a peer-led discussion, but there are trained facilitators who, just like the participants, have a set of do's and don'ts.
The principles for facilitators have been designed by Ben David and include things like "seeking: to grow in your spiritually in your Jewish life; actively engaged: in your Jewish life; loving: people, wanting to help people; connected: to the Jewish people, in our own unique way; in process: struggling and seeking to grow with the subject of each issue; and personal and open: bring your personal life into the conversation." Things facilitators shouldn't do, according to the list: Play rabbi, bring focus to themselves, forget to learn, have an agenda, forget the little stuff (for the group's comfort - chairs, lighting, space, etc.), compare, disconnect, have a thin skin, cut it too tight (with time), or forget that the program will be life-changing for many people.
The principles for participants are a list of do's. They include a commitment to "spiritual growth, creating a deeper connection with God; personal growth, individuality, everyone goes on their own unique path; safe space - no cynicism, judging, or criticizing other participants; openness - the willingness to trust, share with, and . . . listen to other members of the group; confidentiality - the confidentiality of the words spoken in the group; giving - will to engage in the process of helping others to grow; integration - awareness that the sessions are not purely academic, but include experiential and personalizing components; personal work - responsibility to seriously undertake practical assignments stemming from each session; and consistency."
With all the do's and don'ts in print, the sessions are only comprehensible if you sit in on one.
Ayeka is not designed to take away from or to replace a synagogue. Cohen, a member of B'Nai Torah, said institutions are concerned with numbers, affiliation and succeeding. Ayeka is a different model.
"We're very success-driven. Rarely do we talk about spiritual space," he said. "Jewish life is more than focus on success. Your heart in the Jewish community doesn't come out of organizations, but comes out of people."
Karlin hopes that in an age of online social networking, people will see this as a face-to-face social network. From the initial introduction to the program, Karlin said although it is totally grassroots and relies on local participation and support, he wants it to become "viral." He wants its name, ideas and excitement to spread to a bigger level. With that, he hopes to have foundational and financial support.
Schreiber, who is with Hillel, said this is a model that will catch on quickly.
He said, "We don't have to beg people to come. If people's lives are transformed and they tell their neighbors ..."
During his tour-de-Atlanta, Ben David met with members of Jewish Family and Career Services, Jewish Federation of Greater Atlanta, Congregation Or Hadash, Marcus Jewish Community Center of Atlanta, Congregation Beth Tefillah, Friendraiser, Congregation B'Nai Torah and A Taste of Limmud.
For more information on Ayeka in Atlanta, email info@ayekageorgia.info or call Michael Karlin at (404) 234-9290. For additional reading, go to www.ayeka.org.il. Aryeh Ben David is also the author of The Godfile: 10 Approaches to Personalizing Prayer (2007) and Around the Shabbat Table: A Guide to Fulfilling and Meaningful Shabbat Table Conversations (2000).
